Thursday, January 20, 2011

Weird Krappe You Do...

when you're a parent.

This morning I spend a good 20 minutes sitting on the side of the bath tub in the boys bathroom.  I was having a conversation with LG about his birthday.  Mostly about how we would have Abby Cadabby at the "family" party, and Mickey Mouse at the "friends" party.  The whole time he was sitting on the toilet pooping.  

Did you hear the tires screeching, too?  WHO DOES THAT?  Who has a whole conversation, sitting in front of someone on the toilet?  Even if you're a restroom talker (which I am not), there is still a stall wall between you.  Nope, not this morning.  Only because I'm his Mom.  I knew if I got up, he'd get up, too.  Whether or not he was done, he'd get up.  Ugh.

I've noticed other horrible things I would never have considered before cropping up in my regular day.  

Before?  If I had something on my shirt, I'd immediately change into something clean.  Now?  I try to judge if people will notice it and comment (yup, it has to merit a COMMENT to get me to change now).

Before?  The 5 second rule only applied in my house, and houses of other trusted friends without pets.  Now?  I'll pick little o's binki up off the floor at church, put it in my mouth to clean it and give it back to him.  How horribly disgusting is that?  

Before?  I would blow the occasional sick day for the sake of mental health.  A nice cold stay spend sitting on the couch with a warm blanket and a good book is good for the soul, I'd say.  Now?  I go to work as long as I'm not bleeding out the eyes and coughing up a lung because I know I'll need those sick days when the plague goes around school.  And nothing pisses me off more than having a conversation with my boss about the number of sick days I racked up when LG had salmonella.

People aren't kidding when they say kids make you do strange things.  Things you never thought you'd do before.  I wonder if the change is permanent.  Because I have to tell you, I'm looking forward to the days when I can lock the bathroom door and go with the 1 occupant at a time rule again.


Jan said...

This made me smile. Hugely.

The day you'll be able to go to the bathroom solo again will be here sooner than you think, so enjoy those wee little guys while you can. You'll miss them.

VandyJ said...

WE are going to be doing the potty training thing soon--like this summer I think. I'm so looking forward to not being so concerned with a small persons bathroom habits. I have about two years left then they should be able to take care of most of it on their own.

The Crazy Coxes said...

So true!!!
And before, looking at throw up would make you want to throw up. Now you just grit your teeth, breathe through your mouth and clean it up.

Never in your life has someone yelled through a closed door, "I need to be wiped." And you go running!

blueviolet said...

If I can hold my coat,sweater or arm over a stain on my shirt, I'll keep wearing it. I totally get you there.

As for the poop convo, that stinks too much for me! You have a strong constitution.

gretchen said...

I think you've still maintained your humanity as long as it's not HIM sitting on the tub while YOU poop. Which has happened to me. "Jude, go away, I'm on the potty." "But I just want to tell you..." "Jude. I need my privacy. I'm pooping." "I don't mind. I just want to tell you..." It's sad.

Nessa said...

Quality time comes at the most inopportune moments.