Random Tuesday Thoughts

We've made it all the way to Tuesday. Don't be shocked. It happens some times. Enjoy your visit, then go visit the UnMom. She's my hero.

->  I can not wait until summer swim lessons are over.  Because having to have two kids in separate lessons that occur right after we pick the kids up from daycare?  Requires way more planning than I can handle. The number of swimsuits I launder in a week is probably comparable to the US Swim team, I tell you.

->  Have you seen these little numbers?  That's right.  Step aside Jenny Craig, now they have panties that make your butt bigger.  Why not just sit down with a nice cheese cake and go the natural way?  Then you don't have to worry about that embarrassing moment when you take the panties off and some poor guy realizes that you really have a nice slim tush...  Yeah, I don't get people some times.

->  Parrots are just chickens with fancy dye jobs.  Punk rock chickens, if you will.  PB theorizes that the color indicates the flavor.  The green ones must be lime, or even hot pepper flavored.  Yup, we have some interesting conversations late at night.

->  I have no words for this...  My husband thinks the little tuxedo and top hat make it alright, though.

I'm done now.  I think that last one is enough to get you guys though the week, right?

Microfiction Monday and "I'd rather be..."

We'll cut to the chase.  Another Microfiction Monday with Stony River:

Agnes knew she was in trouble when he sent the creepy star cherubs after her.  They were everywhere.  She could hide, but he would find her.

And and "I'd rather be..." just for your Monday:

I'd rather be at work than watching my 7 nieces and nephews plus my own 2 curtain climbers jump in and out of the pool.  Whew, that's nerve wracking.  I can't tell you how many times I did head counts this weekend.

Have a Happy Monday!

A- Alligators All Around

This morning I realized both boys had alligators on, so I thought I'd snap a photo to get you all a little closer to the weekend.

Extra points to the person who can tell me where the quote in the title came from...

Worlful Wednesday

Wordful Wednesday, sponsored by 7 Clown Circus.

It might be Wordful Wednesday, but this one is pretty self explanatory.  Though you do have to wonder how much longer we'll get away with calling him "Little Guy". 

Random Tuesday Thoughts

Welcome to Random Tuesday Thoughts, sponsored by Keely, The UnMom.    When you're done perusing the dusty thoughts in the attic of my body, go see Keely.

->  Our office has turned into a bad episode of "Friends".  I was walking from my cube to my AA's cube and looking out the window to the building next to ours.  Apartments.  With the curtains open.  Oh, yes.  We have an "Ugly Naked Guy".  Being the mature individual I am, I screamed and ducked into her cube.  By the time she went to see, he was gone.  But he's been back a few times.  Pretty much everyone has seen him by now.  You don't want to see him.  Ewwww. (Really random thought- why the hell is he nekkid in the middle of the afternoon???)

->  I love the smell of a chlorine pool.  Hey, it's my random.  I can do what I want with it.

->Yesterday as I was sitting at a stop light in the middle of the city, I had a friendly encounter with a pedestrian.  I had my windows down, and I might have had The Jackson 5's "ABC" playing a little loud.  A man on the corner started Popping to the song.  He looked mighty sad when the light turned green.  I almost stayed to let him finish the song, but rush hour traffic would have complained.  It was fun while it lasted, though!

->  Making lunches for LG has changed the way we eat.  Now I strive for left overs, and he eats what we eat.  I know, I should have done this a long time ago.  He's eating much better, and I stress about it less.  But I've also been trolling the web for kid lunch box friendly meals (for those days when left overs just don't happen).  Know what I've discovered?  Some people have too much time on their hands.  I'm sorry, I'll cut my kids sandwich into dinosaurs (with the cutter, of course, not by hand) but I draw the line at lunch box art.  Don't get me wrong, some of those ladies who do bento boxes for their kids do amazing things.  But do they really need to go that far to get their kids to eat?  Or is it just the pleasure of seeing it laid out nice and neat in the box.  Or, as I suspect in the middle of the night when these thoughts tend to creep in, are they just doing it so they can post the picture out on the web to make me feel inadequate.  Damn them and their healthy, cute meals.  Viva la Happy Meal!

->  Did anybody else read about poachers killing the last white Rhino in that South African reserve?  They took the horn and left her to die while a baby Rhino cried nearby.  Anyone else want to go to South Africa, find the poachers and start hacking off fingers one by one?  There is a special place in hell for people like that, I say.  Seriously, what kind of backwards world do you live in where you kill an animal and leave it to die painfully?  Not use it for food, but kill it for money.  Grrrr.

->  If I'm not here next week, it's because I've gone to jail for going postal on my co-workers.  Two, in particular.  The "analysts" in our group have offices around the bull pen.  Two of the female analysts refuse to recognize that they have phones.  Speaker phones even.  They insist on screaming out of their offices, across the bullpen, to each other.  Don't get up to have a conversation in the others office, just scream over our heads.  Grrrr.  They refuse to recognize how rude this is to the rest of us.  To them, this is what they like about the environment of our office.  Last Friday they wondered why all 6 of us that sit in the bull pen were "grumpy".  We're plotting our revenge.

->The song "Celebrate", by Cool and the Gang came on.  LG screamed, "That's my song!" and proceeded to hop from his seat at the table and begin to dance around.  Yes, people, that's right.  Bring your good times, and your laughter, too.  LG's going to celebrate your party with you.  Come on now.

Ok, time to make the donuts.  You guys have a good week.

Microfiction Monday & I'd rather be...

They didn't boo, hiss or throw rotten tomatoes last week, so I'm trying Microfiction Monday with Susan over at Stony River, again. Hop on over to see her and she'll tell you how it works.

Here's this weeks picture:

Carl really did hope that breakfast in bed would cheer his wife up.  He couldn't help the subtle hint about her mood as of late, though.

or the alternative:

Zorg's "Happy Meal" idea had worked well with the children.  Stealing the minds of adult humans was proving to be harder than he thought.

I'd rather be... Monday.  Come on, I'm sure work is better than something, right?  Where?  Tell us?

 And this morning's "I'd rather be...." Monday thought:

I'd rather be at work than picking up little o and reminding him NOT to eat the cat food one more time.  It was a rather long weekend for both the cats and me.

Random Tuesday Thoughts

 sponsored by Keely, the UnMom

I love Random Tuesday Thoughts.  But really, what day isn't random on this blog? 

->No matter how often I shower or where I go, I smell sunblock these days.  The odor permeates my life.  I have no idea who the hell is wearing sunblock at work (or why for that matter).  Yankee Candle should make a candle that smells like this, for February, when we all miss the summer.

->  If you weren't here yesterday, go back a day.  I'm thinking of making MicroFiction Monday a regular part of my blog life.  Because you people need more of me.  And it's fun.  After Sprite's Keeper forced me to write a poem last week, it reminded me that at one time I was an English major.  I know, wrap your mind around that one.  From long haired, VW driving, Dave Matthews loving, hippy, English major to reasonably responsible, VW driving accountant.  But I'm letting the skilz get rusty.  So if the group will let me in, I will continue to subject them to my very short fiction.

->  Some have asked for the status of the LG lunch project.  I can report that it is going fairly well.  His teachers tell me that he at least tries everything I pack.  And will eat far more of it than the school lunch.  Enjoys eating the heads off of his dinosaur sandwiches.  Job well done, I think.  And I managed to avoid the Canwich so far, Keely.  But only because peanut butter is not allowed.  They did ask why I don't pack a "dessert" though.  Uhm, since when does lunch have a dessert course?  Isn't that what the granola bar is for?

->  In order to make the workplace more interesting, I've begun switching out the plain M&Ms for flavors. (wasn't there a coffee commercial like this in the 80's?).  Anyhow, we've tried Mint (about half approval, but it was noted they wouldn't want them all the time), two thumbs up on the Peanut Butter, two thumbs up on Peanut.  The Pretzel ones weren't a hit but nobody said they didn't like them (they were just kind of weird), dark chocolate were good (but again, only in rotation), and almond got two thumbs up (but I'll throw in that they're expensive for the amount you get...).  Two people loved the coconut ones (everyone else thought they tasted like Hawaiian tropic).  So far, that's all we've tried.  The "Premiums" are a little too expensive to be a candy dish item.  It is fun to see people's reactions, though.  My boss is a tad thrown off by this, because his culinary life is lived in an area about the size of a shoebox.  He would like nothing more than to always have a stock of plain on hand.  But since I'm buying, he's been a willing (but not always chipper) guinea pig.  

->  There has been much discussion of the use of words in my life lately.  Specifically two words.  Unmitigated and disgruntled.  PB keeps pointing out how you hear people say "Dis-gruntled" but not gruntled (and yes, it is a real word).  He noted one sports writer that uses Gruntled to refer to a particular football player, but that's all.  My boss dislikes the word unmitigated.  Because it is frequently used in a way that makes it redundant.  For instance, unmitigated disaster.  His point is, have you ever had a mitigated disaster?  Normally I would take up the sword and have a good argument or at least a discussion on these.  But you know what?  They're right.  Now if we could just teach the Canadians to use the word ironic correctly.

Enough from me.  Go visit Keely.  Or get some sun.  Or do your own damn work. 

MicroFiction Monday.

MicroFiction Monday, sponsored by Susan over at Stony River.  You have 140 words to describe the picture.  Here is today's:

 

Eva was perfectly happy with her "Oil of Olady".  Now if she could only get her husband to use "Oil of Olman"...

Now go check out what other folks are saying about the mystery lady.  Have a great week!

I'd rather be ... Monday.

Well, the weekend is over.  While that is a sad thing, in some ways it's not.  

I'd rather be at work than trying to convince my two year old he needs to take off his swimsuit because it's raining and he won't have sprinkler time today. (I know, I saw the rain when we walked out the door this morning.  But the last time I tried to use common sense and send his swimsuit on a rainy day, they told me I should put him in it regardless of the weather.  They like ear splitting shrieks, I guess.)

I'd rather be at work than listening to PB complain about how he got no sleep last night.  Neither of us slept.  And just about the only thing worse than going to work on Monday after a night of no sleep?  Listening to someone else whine about it.  At least here I have a cubicle and a spreadsheet, and people leave me alone.

Ok, my grump and I are going to be productive.  Have a good week!

Aloha Shirt Friday!

I have learned from observing Pseudo's blog that in Hawaii they are called "Aloha" shirts, not Hawaiian shirts.  In the interest of not annoying the natives, I now bring you Aloha Shirt Friday.

LG actually wanted to wave "Hi!" to Pseudo all the way in Hawaii.  

Hope everyone has a great weekend.

Spin Cycle- Poetry

Because Sprite's Keeper is a natural poet, she occasionally thinks we should all show our natural "talent".  I have none.  So I subject you to this:

Night sounds

The hum of the refrigerator,

Cat footfall on the stairs,

The water heater grumbles from below.

The rustle of a sheet,

The sigh of a little boy turning over,

An owl hoots outside the window.

The neighbor’s car door slams,

A squirrel scampers on the roof,

The house settles with a creak.

The bathroom lights snaps off,

Slippers shuffling on carpet,

A voice says, “Come to bed.”

It's the best I've got for poetry these days.  I used to have creativity stored somewhere that I could pull it out for entertainment purposes.  Lately, all my creative energy has been channeled into making lunches that my kid might eat at school.  A complete waste, I know, but most art is wasted on its audience, right?

Random Tuesday Grump...

I don't want to be at work today.  Which is unusual because I like my job.  And after 4 days straight with my kids, I'm ready for a break.  But not today.  I didn't want to drop the boys off, I didn't want to drive into the city.  And I just outright don't want to be here.  Grump.  I'll random it up, but I'd rather be out on my aqua lounger in the pool.  Watching this:

That's right.  I hit you with the pool picture.  Right at the beginning.  Because I miss the smell of chlorine and little boys wearing sunblock.  I miss toting little o around in his ducky (my official job, as I'm am an inadequate dolphin).

->  After spending a single day with LG all by himself (the last day of the salmonella '10 fiasco), PB complained that he didn't appreciate having his life narrated by a two year old.  Somehow I had missed that LG's usual running commentary is directed at me, and all that I do.  PB hasn't been the focus of this attention yet.  Bwah, ha, ha.  It's like a radio that you can't turn off.  Turned to a station you'd never want to listen to.  You learn to tune it out.

->  As LG hands the box of Teddi grahams to the cashier, "Here you go, nice lady!" This is what I get for telling him, "You have to give it to the nice lady to ring up now, LG."  My little parrot.

->  PB frustrates me.  He would like to get a prescription for allergy medicine.  Which made him think he could just call the Dr and ask her to prescribe it for him.  Because I can do that.  But I also go to see my Dr at least once a year.  And when I get sick, I go for a visit to MY doctor.  I don't wait until my eyes are dripping from their sockets and rush over to the urgent care.  My doctor knows me.  PB doesn't see the value to having a relationship with a doctor.  This happened when he needed shots, too.  Do you think he'll ever learn?

->  Welcome to the future, Mr. McFly.  Nice hoverboard.

->  Even since PB went to France the second time, LG is obsessed with the idea.  He will frequently get on his riding toys and say, "I go to France to visit the French people."  

And since I opened with one, I'll end with one:

You didn't seriously didn't think you'd see me in a swimsuit, did you?  Maybe next time.

Until then, have a good week.