Friday, September 3, 2010

Spin Cycle- Respect

This weeks Spin Cycle is all about respect.  Anything we want on respect.  Hmmm.

What do you  do when someone you respect does something that you don't respect?  Do you immediately lose all respect?  Do you try to justify their actions with acts from their past?  Or do you look at the situation for what it's worth and realize that we're all infallible and we make mistakes from time to time?  Do you start out respecting people, and then they lose your respect, or do people have to earn your respect through their actions and words?

For me, it depends on how I know you and what you represent in my life.  If you're a politician and you have an affair?  Meh.  I'm not your wife.  I didn't trust your political prowess on your ability to handle your private life.  I decided based you your voting record or your campaign promises.  If a politician doesn't come through on their promises?  That's when they lose my trust.  Same thing with sports players.  I didn't admire Tiger Woods for his ability to maintain a home life.  I admire his ability to play golf.  His divorce is his business.  Now if I were to find out he cheated while playing?  Then I'd be upset.

I find it really interesting when people become personally  vested in public figures.  They feel betrayed when a sports figure does something illegal.  Their faith is rattled when they find out a politician is dishonest.  They respected those people as whole beings, and now that respect is shattered.  I find that a tad unfair.  If I've been thrust into the public eye for my ability to act in movies, then Joe Q. Public can judge just that, my ability to act in movies.  My salary, my choices of roles are all up for grabs.  But who I sleep with?  How I choose to spend my free time?  How do you earn the right to pass judgment on that simply for the price of a ticket?  Don't get me wrong.  I read a tabloid or two.  But that doesn't make those folks my friends.

->  Side note:  The above is why it amazes me when someone like Jenny McCarthy or Jim Carrey holds sway over whether or not folks vaccinate their kids.  Yeah, they have a kid.  But they aren't doctors.  They're actors (and quite frankly, I don't even respect their acting).  How do people have respect for them as authority figures in their child's health questions?  Call me kooky, but I look to certified professionals for those things.  Anyway... back to our regularly scheduled blog.->

It's gets a little touchier with friends.  Friendship doesn't occur in neat little boxes.  If a friend has questionable business dealings, or does something illegal, it does matter to our friendship, and maybe to my respect for them.  Part of my value of them as a friend is their integrity and my ability to trust them.  If I can't trust your choices I will have a hard time respecting you as a person.  I do look at people as a whole, though.  We all make mistakes.  We all take the easy way out on occasion.  You can't go around casting judgment on each individual action.  And then there's the case for forgiveness.  What do you consider forgivable transgressions and what rocks your faith in someone to the core.  I think it depends on the situation and the friend.

In the end, respect is complicated.  While it seems like a simple emotion, it's wrapped up in all sorts of other emotions.  (did you notice that in most places in this blog the word respect could have been replaced with trust? That's just how respect goes.)

Have a great labor day.  If you have a minute during your Earl Evasion (for the east coasters) go see Sprite's Keeper and have some respect!


Sprite's Keeper said...

I think respect and trust go hand in hand. I feel the same way about politicians. Your home life is your home life. As long as you're not making decisions for me based on your romantic tendencies, that's fine. I really can't stand how the politicians don't respect each other. They ridicule each other all the time and turn the media into their own personal slambook.
You're linked!

The Crazy Coxes said...

I'm with you on actors and actresses expressing their opinions on topics outside of their profession. I don't want them telling me how to vote!

Personal relationships are tricky when you lose repsect for a friend, but even trickier when it's with family! Eek! Great post!

Carol said...

I think you cannot have respect for a person with trust of that person. I've had bosses that I didn't trust (as people), but sill I had to respect their position as my boss. Fine line, I know, but it worked.

VandyJ said...

Respect is hard to earn but easy to lose. Like you said it is a complicated feeling. Nice take on the whole repsect topic.
A quote that i didn't use said something to the effect of A polition gains respect for doing more than he promised, not promising lots and doing less. I think that's why I hate election time, the promises are alway great but the actions are always so much less.

Jillien said...

Amen sister! I once heard a sermon on the difference between respect and honor and it gave me a whole knew perspective.

Wonderful post!

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

Amen, Amen, AMEN! :) I agree with you on all points - and apparently I'm just like you. Cool! ;)

Spinning Up Some Respect

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