Friday, June 4, 2010

Spin Cycle- Technology

I have come to a sad realization, Internet friends.  I am old.  I have become one of "those people".  I am not up to date on the latest trends.  I do not know how to work my DVD player properly.  I want an iPhone, but the idea of giving up my Motorola Razr frightens me a little bit.  We bought a new camera a few weeks ago, and I'm still taking fuzzy pictures.  I am ashamed.

I was born in an age of new technology.  I can remember the first home video games, the first microwave, the first cell phone.  While I know that James Bond had all of these things back in the 60's, I can remember when they were not household items.  And I am of the generation that grew up embracing them.  I taught my Mom how to use the microwave, and how to program the clock on the VCR.  I got contact lenses at 14, and blasted Michael Jackson out of my boom box.  I am the MTV generation, and I'm proud.  Sort of.

Because I'm nothing compared to the kids of today.  I can not drive and text.  I don't know how to make the DVD player work now that PB has it attached to the stereo system.  And yes, as I admitted above, the idea of an iPhone both appeals to and frightens me.  And, worst of all, I'm beginning to understand why old people resist new technology.  Sigh.

The world moves just a little too fast for me.  Things change too fast, and I've got too much going on to keep up.  I want to hold on for just a bit longer.  I want my kids to stay small and naive.  I want to stop and smell the roses.  I don't want my boss to be able to get in touch with me while I'm taking a vacation day to do a little shopping and plant some flowers.  I want to talk to someone when I need to ask a question, not get an automated phone answering system that will just annoy the living krappe out of me.  And I want to have to explain my problem, I don't want the person at the other end of the phone to be able to type in my account number and know everything down to my underwear size.  I want it to take a long time to use my credit card so that I can really think about the purchase, instead of simply swiping it through with out a thought.

LG and little o will take the world by storm, but they will also have to deal with things I never had to.  They have information at the tips of their fingers, but their identity can be stolen in a second.  The have medical wonders at their beck and call, where I can remember sweating it out in a hospital for the same ailments. (When little o had bronchitis, we had a nebulizer at home!  We plugged it into the wall, and sat in the big comfy chair with him while he slept through the whole thing.  I can remember spending HOURS at the hospital for treatments because you would never imagine taking that kind of specialized equipment out of the emergency room.)  They also have super bugs, and vaccination scares and all sorts of things we can't even imagine today. All the ups are bigger, but so are the downs.  They are the next generation.  The will zip around the grocery store on Wheelies, with their Blue Teeth (Blue Tooths?) chatting away about the latest aps while scooping up their organic Pop Tarts or whatever.  And I'll be at home, waiting for one of them to come over so that I have more company than my "Parlor Family" on my full wall screens.  I do hope, though, that I've instilled enough love of books in them that they could never become a "fireman".  Sorry, I'll stop with the Fahrenheit 451 (but did this topic make anyone else think of that and "1984"-  because Big Brother gets a little closer every day in my mind).

Yeah, I'm old.  And I'm getting cranky. Now I will shuffle off with my tea, and an afghan for my lap.  Get the hell off my lawn and go see Sprite's Keeper.  She knows how to program her VCR, I bet.

8 comments:

only a movie said...

"old" is relative... and you're not that old...

Also - I want an iPad, but I have only used my dvd recorder once because it's jut too complicated. Ha.

Sprite's Keeper said...

Nope, sorry. I can't program my VCR. It's packed up somewhere. Or we gave it away. Do we even have one anymore?
I only know how to use the DVD because John works sometimes in the evenings and if I didn't know how to work it, then I'd be seriously screwed. I learned because I HAD TO.
But I agree. Technology is moving way too quickly and John likes to toy with my emotions by sending me emails of very expensive gadgets with the tag ling "I want this." He's cruisin' for a bruisin'. :-)
You're linked!

Jan said...

Should I admit that I'm reading and commenting via my Droid while I'm waiting for the car to get an oil change?

Nah...

Alaina said...

I, too, don't know how to program a VCR :-)

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

Can I hear a big AMEN??
Altho you are so not old. Cuz if you're old then I'm dead.
But things are moving so frigging fast. Soon our kids will feel outdated in their tech knowledge, probably by 20. Don't bother learning to text; I use it all the time to keep in touch with my kids but by the time your boys are old enough there will probably be some mind reading tool you all will use. And I'll shake my head and say, remember the good ole days, when a mom could just text her children...

VandyJ said...

I feel much the same way. Technology just moves to fast sometimes.

gretchen said...

I love "blue teeth". Hehe.

GO FOR THE IPHONE! Fear not! It isn't hard to figure out and it really makes things easier. And it's fun.

Julie at MDMA said...

I'm with Gretchen ... go for the iPhone. When the first ones came out, I watched my early adopter friend using her iPhone and thought, "No way." Now, I love my phone. It took A DAY to figure it out. Apple is the king for a reason ... they make stuff easy.

But I know what you're saying ... I am old, too. One way I know that is that I don't WANT to figure out new things. I just want my shit to work and not become obsolete before the warranty runs out. Is that too much to ask?

Great confessional spin!