Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Random Tuesday Thoughts

It's Tuesday.  Which means Keely is having us all over for some random. 

->  We decided to take LG off the school lunch program.  His teacher told me earlier in the month that menu has changed recently, and he doesn't like a lot of what they serve now.  As a result, he eats maybe half his lunch.  Argh.  They don't have a fridge in their room, or a microwave oven.  Which means everything I send has to be maintained with either a cold pack, or a thermos, for 5 hours.  No nuts, no strawberries.  Minimal mess, if I can swing it.  Anything else?  Does it have to have a good housekeeping seal on it???

      As a result, I've made up a "lunch menu" for the month of July.  I plotted and planned each day's lunch and dinner so that it's not too repetitive but involved left overs.  Making sure he gets enough fruits and veg each day.  I don't worry about dairy, since he consumes so much milk and yogurt in a day he might turn into a nice mozzarella if I let him sit for a while.  

PB laughed.  For him, I'm over thinking this.  He'd be fine tossing stuff into his lunch box each morning, and hoping for the best.  But I know it'll be me putting the lunch together.  And seeing all that doesn't get eaten.  And worrying.  It's just easier to over plan and become neurotic.  Just toss this into the "one more thing to worry about" category.
->  Where do you draw the line between being cheap and being downright stupid?  My assistant has a stock of dark colored post it notes in her drawer.  The CEO does not like dark post it (he's older and finds them hard to read).  The supply guy says the packs with the dark ones are cheapest.  But it's not cheap if we can only use part of the damn pack!  I say we use the dark ones to send him threat notes.
->  PB and I were able to reconfirm how compatible we are on Sunday night.  During our black out game of Trivial Pursuit, as the game was 3 pie pieces to 3 pie pieces, we realized he had the 3 I didn't.  See, we need each other to fill in the knowledge gaps.  Otherwise LG and little o would be woefully missing knowledge about African deserts and 1960's basketball players.

->  LG has taken a liking to singing nursery rhymes.  He learned "Bah, Bah Black sheep" and "Twinkle Twinkle" at school.  When PB was gone, I taught him a few more to buy me some bed time sanity.  A few nights ago PB came downstairs after putting LG to bed with a distinct frown.  "What birdie song is LG asking for?  I figure out that Mary must be 'Mary had a little lamb', but what's birdie?  He actually stood up in bed and stomped because I couldn't sing birdie song.  I almost came to get you!"    Uhm, think, think.  What did I sing two weeks ago?  In my haste to keep him quiet.  Ahhh, "Sing a sing of sixpence! He's talking about the blackbird that nips off her nose! You have to do the hand motions for that one.  But you can't sing that one last because it kind of winds him up."  All I got back was, "Really?  When did bed time songs start requiring a plan and instructions?"  Point well made.

->On our way home from church Saturday night, PB remarked that he would like some fresh veg for dinner.  Ok, easily enough done.  Why don't we swing into the grocery that's on our way home from church?  Except that's the "fancy" grocery store.  The "gourmet" market, if you will.  Where the rich people shop.  Gulp.  But it's just for veg, it'll be ok, right?  Yeah, whatever.  He sent me in alone.  No defenses.  The produce was amazing, and not really expensive at all.  Good deal there.  However, the smells.  You should have to pay for those!  I came out with some nice asparagus and brussel sprouts for dinner, as well as a box of bakery cookies, a loaf of fresh bread and a $9 pound of coffee (unheard of at our house).  I was victimized by the luxury.  I should sue...I will say, the coffee is amazing.  But now we are not allowed to stop there anymore.  Convenience be damned.

->  "O-ie needs his butt wiped."  says a little voice.
"Excuse me?" my much larger voice.
"O-ie needs his butt wiped."  a little louder this time.
"Please don't use the word 'butt'.  You can just tell me Little O needs a new diaper, thanks."

 Who taught him this?  Did he learn this at school?  

What the hell, people?  When did "butt" become a bad word?    Just more evidence that I'm old.  Not as old as Keely and her composting, but old.

I'm all done here.  Move along.  Nothing more to see.  Go see Keely. 

Monday, June 28, 2010

I'd rather be...

We'll cut to the chase-

I'd rather be at work than cleaning up fallen trees in my yard.  We had a horrible storm overnight, and as a result, many of our neighbors are trying to pick up the pieces this morning.  It doesn't look like anyone took a direct hit to their house, but some folks got awful close.  We were there two years ago, so I know just how those folks feel this morning.  

As for us, the lights went out around 7:30, and I challenged PB to a game of Trivial Pursuit.  I won.  It was a close game, though.  We couldn't remember the last time the two of us sat down and played a board game together.  We used to play games all the time.  It was a lot of fun to just sit and talk, listen to the rain and little o snoring.  

How about you?  What's making the dull hum of the iridescent bulbs tolerable this morning?

Friday, June 25, 2010

Father's Day- A Pictoral Tribute to PB

I have so many more pictures of PB and his two favorite pals, but these are some of my favorites.  He's a ride on toy, a pillow, an entertainment center.  He's there when we need him, and even when we don't.  Thanks, PB.  We love you.

Thursday, June 24, 2010


 LG at 5 months.

LG at 2 years 5 months.

What a difference two years makes.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Wordless Wednesday

Today I was supposed to post a cute picture of the two boys in their new French sports apparel.  But when I told LG, "Smile nicely!"  this is what I got:

Two is going to be  a long year.

Little O was far more cooperative:

He saw the camera and immediately lit up.  It's the politician in him.  I'm amazed he didn't try to smooth down his hair.

LG is sporting the French World Cup jersey.  Little O is wearing the "King of the Mountain" jersey from the Tour De France.

This post was brought to you by

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Random Tuesday Thoughts!

The lovely purple button is calling me.  I must randomly type my thoughts.  Must go drink the Kool Aid at Keely's...  You can come, too.  I'm sure she has enough for everyone.

->  LG had salmonella last week.  Mmmm, fun.  Other than a rather messy diaper, though, he felt just fine.  We went to the History Museum on Monday, the Sprinkle Park on Wednesday, the Zoo on Friday.  Wait a minute here.  That sounds more like a vacation than a sick week.  Don't tell my boss.  Though I wish he didn't have the intestinal distress, it was nice to get some alone time with him.  He went back to school today, and I think he was just about ready for that.  

->  Little o is crawling!  It's a gimpy crawl, but he's getting around.  He's not quite ready to commit to both knees, so he keeps one foot tucked under (so that he can fall back on his rear end, instead of on his face).  I think that's pretty smart.  LG just went the bold route of walking on all 4s, but I don't remember any face plants.  Little o's just a tad less coordinated, and a bit more cautious.  He'll be the one holding the camera when they get older, I sense.

->  For all those who wondered, I did get wonderful treats from France (to make up for his absence during the Great Salmonella outbreak of '10).  PB brought back chocolates and a Tour De France t-shirt for me.  Oh, and a lovely bottle of Pink Champagne.  Real Champagne.  From Champagne.  Mmmm.  I'm a sucker for the bubbly stuff.  

->  Do you have a favorite candy?  Not expensive chocolates (because we all know if you don't like those you're sick in the head).  The kind of candy you get at the gas station.  I'm a big fan of the Milky Way Dark.  Straight out of the freezer.  Apparently, I'm not alone.  Out of all the "new" versions of old favorites that have been introduced, it's one of the few to stand the test of time.  I have one waiting for me for my 2:00 treat (what, I don't smoke.  I still get my 15 minute break though.  What do you want me to do?  Walk?)

->  At the Zoo on Friday, we saw an Amish boy wearing black Converse All Stars.  He had blacked over the white toe and sidewalls, but they were Converse.  Even the Amish can be just that cool, I guess.  I wonder if they parked their horses in the parking lot, or if they had special parking?

I'm all randomed out now.  Go visit Keely.  And the others.  Feel the random.  But come back tomorrow when my kids will be sporting their new French athletic apparel (if I can get the 2 year old and the 9 month old to sit for a picture...)

Monday, June 21, 2010

I'd rather be... Monday.

Whew, that was quite a week last week.  I spent a total of 12 hours at work (out of 40) and the rest with LG.  It was our unplanned vacation.  He had salmonella (ok, still has, I guess) so he and I played hooky together.  He was feeling ok (his diaper was the only sign of illness) so he was great company.  We had a few big adventures, and a few small ones.  More on that tomorrow.

But, now PB is home.  And it's Monday.  So I had to come to work.  And I'm trying hard to want to be here.  I'm trying really, really hard.  PB and LG went to the zoo in Akron this morning.  They saw the penguins.  I'm jealous.  My co-workers are not as cute.

For you guys, however, I will come up with something.

I would rather be at work than holding a fussy little o as he gets his first tooth.  He doesn't want cuddles, but doesn't want to be put down.  He doesn't want to play, but needs his toys close by.  You know, that mood where even your skin doesn't feel right on you?  Poor little o.  When he can eat fresh buttered corn on the cob in the middle of the summer, though, I'm sure he'll be glad he's got those choppers. 

Have a good Monday!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Spin Cycle- Free Spin

Woo hoo!  For the Spin Cycle, I got a Free Spin.  Now, Sprite's Keeper wanted me to get "quirks", but I got free spin.  No worries, I'll do quirks another day.

But for today, I have something else in mind.  Literally.  Do you take mental pictures?  Not real pictures, nothing you can physically touch.  But memories that are visual.  I do.  I don't have many of them, and they're pretty random.  Not the most important moments of my life.  Not the most dramatic, scary or funny.  Really, they're just moments in time that have stuck with me. 

I wish I could say that some of them are from when I was little, but my earliest memories come from real pictures.  The first mental picture is from when I was in high school.  I lived in a tiny lake community.  Maybe 20 houses around a lake, with lots of trees in between them.  If you took the "back road" there were houses on one side and the lake on the other.  The bus didn't come into the community, so all the kids had to walk about a mile to get from the bus stop to home.  Sometimes you'd hope for a ride from a neighbor on their way home, but to do that you had to walk the front road.  That was about the only good thing about going that way.  The memory comes from a day that I was the only kid to get off bus.  It was autumn, and I had decided to walk home by the back road.  It was overcast, but the leaves were out in full glory.  Reds and yellows, oranges and golds.  (side note:  one of the things I miss most about living in Ohio is that the fall colors are not half of what they are in NY.  sigh)  It was amazing.  I have a clear vision of how the dirt road looked, with the calm lake on one side and the trees on the other.  I can almost smell the clean, fall air.  Feel the slight breeze, and the weight of my backpack on my shoulders.  When I miss my home town, my parents, or my youth, in general, I always go to this memory.

One of the most amazing mental pictures I have comes from my rowing days.  Another fall day, about 10 years later.  I had agreed to cox for a boat of ladies who wanted to go to the Head of the Charles. It was the end of practice, after dusk before dark.   I was getting ready to take them back to the dock when we came around a bend in the river to the most amazing sight.  My first ever harvest moon.  It was incredible.  The moon hung over the water like a big pumpkin in the sky.  You could almost reach out and touch it.  It was huge, and it was glowing.  It cast a reddish glow over the river, and over us.  I turned the boat around and stopped so that they could all enjoy it.  It was like the rowing gods were rewarding us for a hard practice with a little piece of heaven. 

The last one I want to talk about happened this past fall (wait a minute here.  Do you see a theme?  Hmmmm.)  It was my last day in the hospital with little o.  The nurse had brought him in at around 4:am to eat and he had fallen asleep with his head on my chest when he was done.  Arms and legs sprawled across me.  Instead of chancing waking him by re swaddling him, I let him stay that way.  I laid his brand new gray and white "grammie blanket" over him to keep him warm.  He looked so sweet.  So tiny, and innocent.  Little hands like starfish spread out on my shoulders.  His fuzzy little head under my chin.  That sweet baby smell that goes away far to fast.  

Little o is sleeping in his pack and play right now.  He has his grammie blanket clutched to his cheek.  The last light of the day is coming through the branches of the trees out front and then through the window, checkering his little body.  His sweet chubby cheeks, and golden, corn silk hair.  I wish my memories were like a mental camera.  I wish this could be one of those times that I remember in my mind forever.  But that's not the way it works.  I don't get to choose what mental pictures I keep, and which ones get lost.  That's why I keep my camera handy, I guess.  So that I can keep my mental pictures close to my heart and the rest I can look at whenever I want on paper.

I hope everyone has a great weekend.  PB gets home tomorrow, so we'll be celebrating.  I'll have a Margarita for you, I promise.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Random Tuesday Thoughts...

Give me an R, give me an A, give me an N, a D, an O, and M.  Ok, you can see why I wasn't a cheerleader.  I'm too lazy to even type out the cheer correctly.  Whatever.  It's Tuesday, so you'll have to keep your expectations low.

->  PB is in France again.  And again, I couldn't go.  Whatever.  His trip over took about a million years longer than it should of.  He didn't end up on a single plane that he was scheduled for, and they lost his luggage.  And do you know that pissed me off.  Not because I feel angry for him.  Or because he sat in an airport for extra hours when he could have been home, hanging out with us.  But because the airlines have caused him to displace his emotions.  Now, instead of feeling guilty about leaving me behind, he's angry at them losing his stuff.  Stupid airline.

->  Have you heard that the number of snakes on the earth are in serious decline?  Now, anyone who knows me at all would think that I would be cheering about this.  I hate snakes.  With a passion.  But this?  Not so much.  Snakes are relatively hardy.  They can fend pretty well for themselves.  If even they are in danger what does that say for the rest of the planet?  Nothing good, I tell you.

->  Have you been reading about the man who wants to die by firing squad in Utah?  If not, google is for a second.  Now, we know he's a nut job (he killed two people, on separate occasions. one while trying to escape during the trial for the murder of the other, for goodness sake!)  But I happen to think this is a publicity stunt.  However, this lead me to find out that there are more bizarre ways of executing people on the books, and legal, in the US than we really need.  Firing squad, lethal injection, gas chamber, hanging.  I'm betting somewhere you could get them to throw you to the lions.  It creeps me the hell out.

->  I work with professional people.  There is no area of my office that could even be close to considered "grunt" or "unskilled" labor.  Our bullpen is filled with bookkeepers and tax analysts.  And still, someone saw fit to wipe snot on the bathroom wall.  Really?  You're in the bathroom, you couldn't find a tissue?  Are we monkeys?  What's next?  Flinging poo?

->  Speaking of poo (I know, but it's a family website.  With two little kids around you know there are bound to be poo stories.  And Pooh stories.  We're equal all about culture)- why is it that when you most need your kids to sit still and have their diaper changed, they squirm and wriggle and kick and scream???  Inevitably, someone ends up covered in poo and it takes 9 times as long to change a diaper that should have been a quick change.  If only my 2 year old would understand reason, this would be much easier.  Same thing with baths.  If only they would let me take the 5 minutes required to scrub them down, they could have plenty of time to splash and play in the tub.  Instead we have 20 minutes of trying to wrestle a soapy octopus and no one gets what they really want.  Grrrr.

That's it for today.  Go see Keely and have some of her Random. 

Monday, June 14, 2010

I'd rather be... Monday

Ahhh, Monday.  I was actually dreading today.  PB left for France (yes, again) yesterday.  So I thought it was going to be a rush and stumble to get the boys out to school and me off to work.  But as it turns out, LG is still under the weather.  So I made the choice to just stay home with him instead of sending him and hoping for the best or trying to find someone else to stay with him.  Needless to say, he would have been fine at school.

But on to the main attraction:

I could say that I'd rather be at work than home with an overactive toddler who isn't really sick.  But I won't.  Because it's not true.  The "sick" thing forced me to do something I've been meaning to do for a few months now.  Actually, two things.  The first was to play hooky with LG and let PB go to work and little o go to school.  Just the two of us for the day.  The second was to take him to see the dinosaurs at the Natural History Museum.  Today, we did both.  "LG, it's a stegosaurus."  "No, Mama, is a big dinosaur."  I stand corrected. 

Right now he's in his bed, napping.  Or he will be as soon as he fully introduces the newest member to the clan.  I can here him through the monitor, "Steve, dis is Stretchy Giraffe.  Dis is Ty Lion.  Dis Drake, he a puppy."  When everyone has found their spot in the pile, I'm hoping he drifts off.

Anyway, there's really no place I'd rather be.  How about you?  Did you play hooky or are you sipping cold coffee and staring at the blue screen?  The one that only serves to remind you that each second you are at work is a second closer to death.  Tee hee hee.

Have a good Monday, everyone.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Spin- The Ties that Bind...

No, not neckties.  Or

Twist ties.  Sprite's Keeper wants to talk about "the ties that bind".  The things that make us "family", or "friends", or "mortal enemies" or what have you.

I had a sudden revelation the other day.  At lunch with my co-workers.  Who thought it was hysterical.  We were talking about how kids change at different ages.  We talked about whether or not you really grow out of the "terrible twos" at three.  And they asked how LG is doing with the ttsUhm, well, terrible.  He and I fight constantly.  Because he is stubborn, but his stubborn is nothing compared to my stubborn.  I have practice.  While I would love to say I pick my battles wisely, I frequently do not.  I dig in.  PB tries to rescue me, but I won't allow it.  Many nights there is a battle of wills.  Someone ends up crying or throwing something.  Which of us that is depends on the night.  Someone apologizes and we make up.  PB and little o go hide somewhere.  And after I tell them this, one of my co-workers said, "Because he's just like you."   

What?  No, I thought.  He's like PB.  Energetic and fun and smart.  He sings and dances and talks constantly.  He's too busy moving to eat, and he doesn't care about convention.  He loves a good adventure and has no fear.  He's fiercely independent.  He's too busy to give you more than a quick hug and kiss.  He does not cuddle.  Frequently, he won't smile even when he's happy.  Oh, no.  That doesn't describe PB at all.  Damn, they were right.  LG is a mini-me.  

Which lead me to think more about little O.  For the past 9 months, I've said little O doesn't fit in.  But he does.  He is completely PBs child.  He smiles all the time (many teachers at school tell me that they get more smiles from little o on the first day they meet him than in the whole time they've known LG).  He's content.  He's outright happy most of the time.  He is a cuddler.  He's not the utter spaz his older brother is.  He will go with the flow almost all the time.  There's almost nothing that a snack and a fresh diaper can't fix.  But piss him off?  And you will find a stubborn streak like no other.  He will scream until he is good and done.  He will not waiver or listen to reason.  He's just like his father.  No wonder he and I get along so well.

Just goes to show that the ties that bind go far deeper than brown eyes, or knobby knees.  Who and what you are, where you go and become are truly a product of where you came from.  And the fact that I lived to see 18?  Is a testament to the fact that my father intervened on my behalf quite frequently.

PS-  The best thing I've heard in weeks:

"It's ok, O.  Don't cry.  I right here.  We together."

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Wordful Wednesday

Hi!  I'm little o and I want to be your President in 2044.  So, on election day, remember:  Vote Oh!

This message was brought to you by Wordless Wednesday, sponsored by 7 Clown Circus.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Random Tuesday Thoughts

The purple button is up. Which is a good thing for me.  I've gotten so little sleep in the last two days, I couldn't steer a train of thought with a schedule and track.

Instead I offer you this:

LG as tricycle engine!  His new tricycle arrived Friday night, fully assembled.  It's amazing.  The most solid piece of equipment I've ever bought for the boy (maybe more solid than his crib or car seat, even!)   He loves the yellow (it's school bus yellow) and he loves how the bumble bees on his helmet match.  

He moves surprisingly fast on it, too.  I had to jog to keep up!  Down the sidewalk and back.  Up the driveway and back.  Back and forth across the porch.  Whew. 

In other news, how is it that little o can come up with an ailment that has nothing to do with challenging his allergy or getting shots last week?  Nope, it's a cold keeping us all up at night.  The Dr said the shots wouldn't do that, and the allergy would have more effects than just a cough and snotty nose.  Really?  I was ready for the side effects listed on the sheets she gave me last week.  I was not ready for this.  Thank god for Coke and cable tv at 3:am is all I have to say about that.

I have other random stuff to say, and potentially stuff to give away, but not this week.  Maybe next week.  You'll have to come back to find out.  Now, go be somewhere else.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Spin Cycle- Technology

I have come to a sad realization, Internet friends.  I am old.  I have become one of "those people".  I am not up to date on the latest trends.  I do not know how to work my DVD player properly.  I want an iPhone, but the idea of giving up my Motorola Razr frightens me a little bit.  We bought a new camera a few weeks ago, and I'm still taking fuzzy pictures.  I am ashamed.

I was born in an age of new technology.  I can remember the first home video games, the first microwave, the first cell phone.  While I know that James Bond had all of these things back in the 60's, I can remember when they were not household items.  And I am of the generation that grew up embracing them.  I taught my Mom how to use the microwave, and how to program the clock on the VCR.  I got contact lenses at 14, and blasted Michael Jackson out of my boom box.  I am the MTV generation, and I'm proud.  Sort of.

Because I'm nothing compared to the kids of today.  I can not drive and text.  I don't know how to make the DVD player work now that PB has it attached to the stereo system.  And yes, as I admitted above, the idea of an iPhone both appeals to and frightens me.  And, worst of all, I'm beginning to understand why old people resist new technology.  Sigh.

The world moves just a little too fast for me.  Things change too fast, and I've got too much going on to keep up.  I want to hold on for just a bit longer.  I want my kids to stay small and naive.  I want to stop and smell the roses.  I don't want my boss to be able to get in touch with me while I'm taking a vacation day to do a little shopping and plant some flowers.  I want to talk to someone when I need to ask a question, not get an automated phone answering system that will just annoy the living krappe out of me.  And I want to have to explain my problem, I don't want the person at the other end of the phone to be able to type in my account number and know everything down to my underwear size.  I want it to take a long time to use my credit card so that I can really think about the purchase, instead of simply swiping it through with out a thought.

LG and little o will take the world by storm, but they will also have to deal with things I never had to.  They have information at the tips of their fingers, but their identity can be stolen in a second.  The have medical wonders at their beck and call, where I can remember sweating it out in a hospital for the same ailments. (When little o had bronchitis, we had a nebulizer at home!  We plugged it into the wall, and sat in the big comfy chair with him while he slept through the whole thing.  I can remember spending HOURS at the hospital for treatments because you would never imagine taking that kind of specialized equipment out of the emergency room.)  They also have super bugs, and vaccination scares and all sorts of things we can't even imagine today. All the ups are bigger, but so are the downs.  They are the next generation.  The will zip around the grocery store on Wheelies, with their Blue Teeth (Blue Tooths?) chatting away about the latest aps while scooping up their organic Pop Tarts or whatever.  And I'll be at home, waiting for one of them to come over so that I have more company than my "Parlor Family" on my full wall screens.  I do hope, though, that I've instilled enough love of books in them that they could never become a "fireman".  Sorry, I'll stop with the Fahrenheit 451 (but did this topic make anyone else think of that and "1984"-  because Big Brother gets a little closer every day in my mind).

Yeah, I'm old.  And I'm getting cranky. Now I will shuffle off with my tea, and an afghan for my lap.  Get the hell off my lawn and go see Sprite's Keeper.  She knows how to program her VCR, I bet.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Wordless Wednesday

Time for Wordful Wednesday with 7 Clown Circus.  

Though I'm not really sure how many words this one really needs.  With all the beautiful weather up here in Ohio, little o has been able to spend some much needed time outside on the playground.  Don't ask me how a kid who can't crawl is sitting happily on the rocking horse, but we have photographic evidence here.

Happy Wednesday.  Go visit the Circus for more pictures from happy places.  And then go out and get some sunshine.  Makes us all happier!

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Random Tuesday Thoughts

Hurry, hurry, hurry.  Step right up.  Click the ugly purple button and see some random.  All the random you can stand for the low, low cost of one click.  See Keely and her amazing stream of conscious.

->  At any given time, my two kids bear a striking resemblance to the 7 dwarfs.  Sleepy, Dopey, Happy, Grumpy, Sneezy, Bashful and Doc.  For Snow White it must have been like living in a houseful of toddlers.  Poor woman.  I'm not sure it was a step up from the Wicked Step-mother some days.

->  We broke out the big red wagon this weekend.  It was LG's "big" Christmas present, but either we've been too lazy to drag it up from the basement, or we haven't had an occasion to use it (you choose).  Either way it was a big hit.  Both boys were strapped in safely (I know, when did they put seat belts in wagons??), only one of us had to pull (leaving the other free to take photos, or hold a frosty beverage, or simply walk unhindered for more than 30 seconds), and the boys were excited about it.  It made parade going relatively stress free.  (see pic from yesterday.  apparently, I can't be the one pulling the wagon if I want pictures of it.)

->  Insert cute picture of o in bathtub here:
Thank god for strategically placed bubbles, or I'd probably be up on kiddy porn charges.

->  Did you hear about how the little girl who's parents are illegal immigrants ended up at a Q&A with Michelle Obama.  Seems she put the first lady in quite a tight spot.  Even more interesting is the president of Peru's response:

"I'm really proud that a young girl of Peruvian origin is highlighting the enormous problem with Latin American immigration in the United States," President Alan Garcia told reporters last week.
He said it would be scandalous if her parents were deported.
"Do you know how much President Obama and Mrs. Michelle Obama would stand to lose?" he said. Garcia called the Arizona law a "completely irrational response" to the illegal-immigration question, and said he would express his thoughts on the matter to President Obama during his visit to Washington"

Uhm, is he serious?  People are fleeing your country, coming to the US, to leave poverty and horrible living conditions.  And you're criticizing our immigration policy?  How's about you worry about making things better in your country so that people want to stay, you idiot?  I mean, don't get me wrong, we both suck, but apparently you suck worse at this point (just ask the people leaving).
->  What happened to Home Ec classes in school?  You know, the ones where you learned to cook a little, sew a little, make a budget, put a diaper on a kid?  They were so unimportant compared to geometry that no one needs them anymore?  It seems to me that I use the knowledge of how to find the area of a circle a lot less than I do my stove.  I'm just saying.  Maybe our education systems needs more work that simply figuring out how much to pay its teachers.

Ok, that's all I have this week.  Go see Keely, she'll random you up good.