Wednesday, July 29, 2009

The Spin Cycle- Me and My Shadow...

This week's Spin Cycle is all about friends. But before you break into the Dionne Warwick (which will make me kick you off my page...) head over to see Sprite's Keeper for some other friendly spins: http://www.spriteskeeper.com/

And now we spin:

When I was little I went almost everywhere with my Mom. Shopping, the hair dresser, visiting friends for coffee, you name it and she took me along. I suspect that it was mostly because she had no where to leave me. And so, we were very close. And it stayed that way for the 17 years we had together. Even after I was old enough to stay at home by myself, it was just natural to get in the car and go with her. When she got sick and couldn't drive anymore, we just changed seats in the car. Now instead of her taking me, I took her.

Sure we had our ups and downs, and I'm not going to fake that I told her everything and we painted each others nails. But she really was my best friend, as well as my Mom. Don't get me wrong, she had the authority. But we weren't like most of my friends, who's Moms were the enemy. We were always there for each other. When my Dad lost his job in sketchy circumstances, she confided that she wasn't sure his boss was at all wrong. And I understood her point. When she lost her hair during chemotherapy, we cried together and made plans for the super wig we'd buy. When my friends turned on my over a "stupid" boy, she made me a cheese cake and we ate it together. I had a "best friend" through most of elementary and high school, but she was never closer to me than my Mom.

I'd love to go into how it effected me when she passed, but I can't. There just aren't words. She stopped suffering, and we'll leave it at that.

These days I know she's watching, though. As I drag LG out of his car seat, and talk our way through grocery shopping. Or let him hold the dust pan while I sweep up his lunch mess. He's my little shadow. And when he's not around (when PB takes him for an errand, or he's napping) I get kind of lonely. I feel like something is missing. I know, I need my own identity, blah, blah, blah. But I like having him around. He's my pal.

When he wakes up in the middle of the night, I have no problem snuggling him back to sleep. It's during those middle of the night snuggles that I can tell him anything I want. Heck, he won't repeat it, right? And he listens, without hurrying off to do something else, or interjecting his opinion.

I know this won't last. But I'm hoping that he'll continue to want to hang out with me long after he stops having to hang out with me. Hopefully I'll be just that cool. But that won't make him a Mama's boy. Yeah, where's the line there, huh?

I can hear my Mom laughing at me when LG does something that I used to do. And I hear her voice saying, "May God bless you with kids just like you..." And I think he did. And I'm ok with that. I hope she would be too.

Man, this is one sappy post. Not my usual snark, huh? Sorry if I disappointed. I promise, the Snark will return in time for CaJoh's Friday Feast. Or at least by Random Tuesday Thoughts.

Ok, time to make the donuts. Go call your Mom, or something.

7 comments:

Evenspor said...

Real sweet about your mom. And I'm glad I'm not the only one to feel that way about my son. Many people like to plan ways to get away from the kids, but I don't really want to right now. I like having him around. I don't think spending "too much" time with the kids is something you'll ever regret.

Sprite's Keeper said...

My mom said the same thing about when I have kids. Her wish came true as well. When I was growing up, I was more of a daddy's girl, but my mom was my confidante. Now that I'm older and out of the house, she's become a close friend. I hope Sprite looks to me that way as well when she's grown. Wonderful Spin. You're linked!

Jan said...

My Mom was always my Mom; we did things together, but it was almost always in an "instructional" mode - going to the grocery store was a lesson on how to shop effectively, then on what foods were appropriate for what type of cooking, etc. etc. Trips to the laundry mat were lessons on how to do various aspects of laundry, trips to buy clothes were ALWAYS a treatise on my weight.

Which is not to say that I didn't enjoy doing things with her, there was just always the parent/child dynamic there, even when I became a parent myself.

Maureen at IslandRoar said...

What a lovely tribute to your mom. And I hope that for all my kids; motherhood is just sappy sometimes....
Great Spin!

Rachel said...

I don't usually tear up like this when I read posts. I'm going to go call my mom now. I don't even care that it's 10 and I'll be waking her up. *sniff*

Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings said...

That is so touching about your mom. My mom and I are like that. I call her every day and tell her everything. I don't know what I'll do when she is gone....

I know it won't last with Jonathan either...I already see him drifting away to other things and other people, but I hope he and I can continue to be friends.

Krystal said...

I hope my daughter and I have the same type of relationship. Right now she is attached at the hip to her grandmother - I'm okay with that - sometimes.