Wednesday, June 3, 2009

A Spin on Saying (deep breath, gulp) "I love you."

Ahhh, this weeks spin is about saying, "I love you." You know. Cause it's easy right? Three little words? Yeah.

I can remember that my Mom used to tell me she loved me all the time. Multiple times a day. There was no denying, I felt the love. My Dad told me, too, but I don't think as frequently. He was better for the big bear hug. The implied, "I love you", if you will. And really, if neither of them had never said the words, I still would have known. Uhm, cause I was theirs. And they didn't sell me to the gypsies. Even though I'm sure they were tempted.

This has moved on to the next generation, too. I can't tell you how many times a day I tell LG I love him, and hug and smooch him. It's hard not to, he's so darn cute most of the time. Poor kid. I'm sure he's thinking "Yeah, that's great. Now can we love on some of those cookies up there?" But I still say it out loud. Habit.

So, why, if I'm fairly certain I don't need my parents or LG to say the words, do I need PB to tell me? I mean, I know he loves me. I get hugs and kisses. Prezzies of all sorts. Oh, and he sticks around. But I still get a little weirded out if he doesn't say, "Love you" on his way out the door in the morning (and I don't reply "Love you, too"). What if something happens while he's gone? Will he remember that I said I loved him before bed last night? Yeah, I'm sure, either way, his dying thoughts won't be about something I did or didn't say... But it still makes me uncomfortable.

On the flip side, I can tell he's peeved at me if he doesn't say "I love you" before he falls asleep at night. Again, it's just a ritual. But a telling one. We still love each other, but when you're mad, it's really hard to say.

I think it's the idea that parents have to love their kids. (I know, this is a generalization, but play along). Your husband Chooses to love you. More than other people. And you just want him to confirm that choice is still the same. Years and years later. Cause what if he forgets? Dumb, yes. But I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who feels this way.

I did teach PB something I never should have, too. When I was little, and would get mad at my Mom, I would refuse to say, "I love you". (I know, I was a treat, right?) But she would always reply, "That's ok. I love you enough for the both of us." Grrrrr. I think the guilt made it worse. I know it does when PB says it to me now. But there was a lesson in it. And I'm pretty sure that when LG gets older, I'll use it on him, too. Some things need to be passed on. Tradition.

Ok, I'm sure people expected this post to go some other way. But my MIL reads my blog, so telling the story of the first "I love you" is completely out of the question. And you people don't need to know that much about me either.

Have a good week, peoples. And Spin if you dare!


Anonymous said...

Great spin!

Sprite's Keeper said...

I can't believe I never thought of it that way. You love your parents and your kids because that is your family, connected. You love your spouse because you choose to. There's some brilliance in that statement and I have to say I heard it first here!
You're linked!

Maureen at IslandRoar said...

Yeah, nothing like hearing those words. I like when it becomes a ritual. It adds to it.
Nice post!

Casey said...

The bear hug is the best. We say I love you all the time around here, maybe too much! There's something to be said for keeping it for special occasions.

Anonymous said...

I think your theories are totally legit. I'm the same way about needing to say "I Love you" at the end of every phone call with my husband or my parents/sister. I'm almost neurotic about it, in the same way you said---WHAT IF IT'S THE LAST CONVERSATION WE EVER HAVE? Awful, but I suppose there are worse ways to live my life.

Thanks for the good spin!

Anonymous said...

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