Thursday, October 30, 2008

In which I rant...

Has no one from Cleveland heard of traffic karma? And really, why are the krappiest drivers on earth all congregating in the city with possibly the most construction in the world???

There are some standard traffic courtesies that people here seem to want to ignore:

1. Merging is a necessity. Not something I'm doing for fun. If I have courteously put on my directional, and given you some warning, make a space and let me in darn it. Especially if I am trying to merge early and not create traffic havoc.

2. Use your rassin, frassin directional. It is manditorily put in your vehicle for a reason. I do not read minds, I have no idea where you are trying to get to. But if you use the lovely little blinky lights, I will know your intentions and assist you if I can.

3. If you drive a truck or an SUV, or even a larger mini-van, please direct your head lights appropriately. For a car, headlights should point straight ahead, I believe. But for you larger vehicles, get your headlights out of my rear view mirror, please.

4. If you are not passing the people driving to your right, you should move one lane to the right. That's correct. If you are in the center lane, and the right lane is passing you, move the heck over. And if you are in the left lane and are not passing people in the center, move over. Don't try to monitor my speed by doing 60 in the fast lane. It will only cause me to wish large smelly camels to join you in bed at night. And spit.

5. Don't beep at me when you think I should have turned in traffic. You are not sitting in my driver's seat. You have no idea how my car handles, or what I can see that you can't. Wait your stinking turn politely. Your beeping will just distract me and make the whole thing take longer.

Five edicts is enough for one rant, I think. And I'm sure there are people who will say "Just because you put on your signal doesn't mean I have to let you pull over". To those people I say, may you be stuck on the merge to i-90 for hours at rush hour. That is bad traffic karma.

No comments: